2012 was probably the wettest year on record in the UK. It's still raining. There are puddles.
I'm used to dodging the road-side splash-zone but now and again you get the complete #&*$£%! who thinks its funny to speed up and drench you.
The wave was taller than me. It's been hours and I still feel wet.
I have a cunning 5 point plan to get my revenge.
Step 1. Earn a vast fortune through the use of blogging and the sale of small knitted items.
Step 2. Invest fortune into the development of sentient yarn.
Step 3. Use sentient yarn to knit giant teddy bears that will do my bidding, wandering the streets and cuddling the restless populace into submission.
Step 4. Declare myself King* of the World.
Step 5. Force all motorists to wear snazzy Christmas jumpers (made from my patented sentient yarn) throughout the year. If anyone splashes me with their car the knitwear will force them to drive into the nearest pond.
* Yes I am female, but when I am ruler of the earth I shall call myself by whatever title pleases me.
Fungi Fun Guys!
This weekend I got carried away with fungi.
That sentence sounded better in my head.
Going back over my past patterns I found that when I knitted up the toadstool pattern I did several other types of fungi (hooray for variations!). I decided to knit up one of them. Then I knitted up another. The I may or may not have seen this specific episode of Midsummer Murders and decided to knit just one more.
As a result you got a couple of bonus patterns this month, all be it on a pretty narrow theme.
Snow! Snow! Snow!
It's snowing! Today that means I'm going to stay inside, wrapped in a duvet, knitting, roasting a chicken and drinking ginger beer. Tomorrow, though, I have to travel and that means trekking miles across sheets of ice and puddles made of SNOW-MELT, *shudder*.
You might have noticed that I finally added the December bauble pattern. I've also added a make a tassel section in to go with it. I've decided to have a rest from trying to knit the cabled bauble. It's reached the stage where everything I try is a little less successful than what went before.
For the past couple of days I've been flicking back through my note books trying to find other patterns that I never quite finished. This is going to be a month of finishing off and perfecting. I'll pick up next month all caught up with my pattern quota and ready to attack a proper project.
Back-up Revenge Plan...
...poke offender with a knitting needle if I ever see them in a car park.
OK so I still owe a pattern for December and am due to do one for January too. I swear I will catch up this month! The plain bauble pattern is written up and almost ready to go.
I've also kept working on my cable bauble pattern (It's not twelfth night yet – I've still got time...). I've never invented anything with cables before so this experience has been interesting. My first attempt came out smaller than I was expecting, and the top doesn't match the bottom, but hey, it's round and cable-y so I'm going to call it a qualified success.
What I really want is for the cables themselves to change in size. I have no idea how to do this neatly. I'm sure I could work something out but first I'm going research and find out if there's an established method. To the internet!.
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